New Theme Song!

I have had many, many Theme Songs in my day. You know, something to sum up my general psyche, that could be played over the opening credits in the TV show of my life. In years past, I've had Jumpin' Jack Flash, Linus and Lucy (the theme song to Peanuts by Vince Guaraldi), and Do Ya by ELO.

These days, I'm feeling a bit introspective, and sometimes I'm worried I overthink things.

Maybe I think too much.


Paul Simon - Think Too Much (b)

Top Five Paul Simon Songs About Heartbreak

1. Hearts and Bones
2. Crazy Love, Vol. II
3. She Moves On
4. Love and Hard Times
5. Slip Slidin' Away

eh?

Top 7 Canadian Artists/Bands:

1. Joni Mitchell
2. The Band
3. Arcade Fire
4. Neil Young
5. Feist
6. Stars
7. Bryan Adams, I guess?

Honourable Mentions:
Alanis Morissette
Born Ruffians
Broken Social Scene
Tragically Hip

in re: Grammy's

I watched a good portion of the Grammy awards last night, and man, it really makes me sad about the state of popular music these days.

•I heard a Justin Bieber song for the first time, and I really need someone to explain why he is popular. His hit song is "Baby," and I would get it if it was catchy or something, but there's nothing. It's vapid. It doesn't even have a hook. I was relieved when the amazing Esperanza Spalding beat him (though I was rooting for Florence), but it really shouldn't have even been an upset. Listen to her!


•"Hey Soul Sister" won Song of the Year. That song sounds like poop on a turntable. I hated that song from the second I heard it, and I was so, so sure it wasn't going to win. I hate you, Grammys.

•

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first

•Lady Gaga. Whatever. I could not care less.

•I'm a little furious about the backlash against Arcade Fire winning Album of the Year. I don't care if you never heard of them, that's your own damn fault. Listen to good music next time.

•Lady Antebellum is the dullest band I have ever heard.

•I just found out they retired the "Best Polka Album" two years ago. Goddamn it, Grammys, you're all a bunch of fucknuts. I don't care if nobody listens to polka, there's no good reason to discontinue it. It was a fun, cute little tradition that hurt nobody.

Turn around, bright eyes.

This could be a good idea, right? Drunk blogging!

Wait, what? Embedding disabled? Mother fucker... hang on.

Okay, this'll do. Turn around...

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me...

A Change at Christmas

Eventually, Glee will do a theme show.

Someone once accused me of hating Christmas music. Not true. What I hate is boring, overplayed, cheesy novelty songs, and sadly, this is almost exclusively what they play on those all-Christmas music stations this time of year, and that I cannot abide. As a general rule, when an artist comes out with a Christmas album, it's the same old tired crap, with nothing new to bring to the table (the B-52's new album is an exception to this, but it is borderline unlistenable). It's very difficult to write an original song and have it be at all good anyway, let alone when you don't get to choose the subject or theme. And as such, yes, I end up not caring for most Christmas music.

But certainly not all. What I have here, for you (Happy Christmas!) is a few songs that may or may not be timeless, but certainly songs that I keep coming back to year after year. Some are classics (thanks, Vince), some are remixes of classics to help keep things fresh, some are only tangentially related to the season at all, some emphasize the worst parts of the season. But they work for me.

Update: sorry, I don't know why Mediafire wasn't working. Go here for a zip file.

1. Johnny Mercer & Margaret Whiting - Baby, It's Cold Outside
2. The Weepies - All That I Want
3. Vince Guaraldi - Christmas Time Is Here (Instrumental)
4. Joni Mitchell - River
5. Count Basie and His Orchestra - Good Morning Blues (The Real Tuesday Weld Clerkenwell Remix)
6. Dean Martin - Jingle Bells (Dan the Automator Remix)
7. The Kinks - Father Christmas
8. The Flaming Lips - A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn't So)
9. Neko Case - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
10. Scala & Kolacny Brothers - Last Christmas

Commercial music

It's weird when you hear a song on TV or a commercial that you know and love, right? I don't mean like back when The Who was selling shiny new cars with "Bargain," I'm talking about something you just didn't expect in that context. So, here are the Top 3 songs in a commercial that I just did not expect:

1. Bibio - Lover's Carvings
(Amazon Kindle, 2010)


2. The Dodos - Fools
(Miller Chill, 2009)


3. Matt & Kim - Daylight
(Bacardi, 2009)


Is the music cheapened, or lose its message when used to sell crappy beer? Discuss.

Top 100: Epilogue

Whelp, that's about it, hope you enjoyed that as much as I did, and I hope you got to discover some new music. I'll have to think about my next project, but for now expect updates... sometimes. Thanks, all!

-Jack

Top 100: #1: Stifle Copies of Myself

Number 1: Mates of State - My Only Offer
Album: Re-Arrange Us, 2008.
Added 5/23/08, 99 plays.



Hey, the Amazon link is free today. Grab it!

Of course my most listened is a catchy breakup song. Haven't you been paying attention?

Settling down, growing apart, infidelity, and the good face we put on to try to fool everybody. To an infectious piano riff.

you might also like...
Rilo Kiley - Under the Blacklight
Tegan and Sara - Relief Next to Me
Stars - One More Night (Your Ex-Lover Remains Dead)

Top 100: #2: Just Traces of Something

Number 2: School of Seven Bells - Half Asleep
Album: Alpinisms, 2008.
Added 12/3/08, 91 plays.



This song is mesmerizing. This is about how apathy, anxiety and lethargy are so difficult to overcome in our day-to-day routines, and how looking back at months or years spent uninspired, tired and unproductive can be so sad as we've stopped making new memories and only look back at the old ones as they fade. "I long to feel again" - trying to wake up from apathy and move and experience things again.

you might also like...
Asobi Seksu - Thursday
Animal Collective - Brother Sport
Toro y Moi - Blessa

Top 100: #3: We Can Hitchhike to Maine

Number 3: Matt & Kim - Daylight
Album: Grand, 2009.
Added 5/9/09, 89 plays.



I wouldn't look for any kind of deeper meaning in this one, I would just sit back and allow it to make you happy. This is pure sonic joy.

you might also like...
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
Vampire Weekend - Horchata
Stars - Take Me to the Riot

Top 100: #4: I'll Be Your Mouthpiece

Number 4: Arcade Fire - (Antichrist Television Blues)
Album: Neon Bible, 2007.
Added 12/22/07, 85 plays.



This is basically just a song about what a creep Joe Simpson is for whoring out his daughters making his daughters (Jessica & Ashlee) famous ("so they can see themselves inside my little girl"). But it's done in typical Arcade Fire genius, and I think it's the best song on their best album.

you might also like...
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
Feist - Past in Present
The Shins - Sleeping Lessons

Top 100: #5: I Muffled My Scream on an Oxnard Beach

Number 5: Bright Eyes - Cleanse Song
Album: Cassadaga, 2007.
Added 9/4/07, 84 plays.



A friend of mine did a cleanse recently - no alchohol, no sugar, no caffeine, no salt, that sort of thing. I think this may be a step above that, either rehab or some other change in your life. Or any change in your life. Every once in a while, I (and others too) get this nagging feeling to change something in my life. Anything. Everything. Here, it looks like Conor saw things in his life that he just couldn't stand, split for SoCal, and became a vegetarian. Profound changes in your life. Rebirth.

you might also like...
Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous
Elliott Smith - Somebody That I Used to Know
Death Cab for Cutie - Passenger Seat

Top 100: #6: Blue, Bright Blue Saturday

Number 6: Goldfrapp - A&E
Album: Seventh Tree, 2008.
Added 5/6/08, 84 plays.



Probably my favorite song about a suicide attempt. For those who don't know, A&E is the UK version of the ER - Accident and Emergency. I imagine that she wanted someone who didn't want her back, took some pills to numb the pain (been there), and woke up in a hospital (not yet). Once again, she's using some fantastic songwriting here - who would describe a hospital gown as a "backless dress?" And when he doesn't even show up to see her... heartbreaking. Okay, it's also one of my favorite breakup songs.

you might also like...
Brazilian Girls - Don't Stop
Sneaker Pimps - Becoming X
Moby - We Are All Made of Stars